I leave Vienna, Austria this afternoon and I must say, I liked Salzburg much more than Vienna. Salzburg was perfect for me - small, walkable, and isolated, but lots to see and do. Vienna feels much bigger and more commercial, like many other big cities, just better architecture. ;-) Most of the things I was interested in seeing in Vienna (Lipizanner Stallions, Opera, etc) are on vacation during the months of July and August, so I missed them. So I've enjoyed just walking around, looking at the beautiful buildings, sipping chai tea(!) and journaling, then having picnics in the palace gardens. Oh, and also... a little shopping. Started out searching for my typical souvenir item - city key chain - and then... oh, look at those shoes... oh, what a pretty hat... Ugh. I finally gave in and bought a shirt and two pairs of earrings. (On sale!!!! :-)) Anyway, yesterday was a special relaxing day.
In my times with God, I continue to be reminded of several things. I spent some time at the beginning of the trip not exactly worrying, but... let's call it pondering or analyzing the future. ;-) I struggle with this temptation to figure everything out and know what is going to happen next - with job, with relationships, even with my "calling". These are not bad things to consider, but the fact is, in the "not knowing", I am drawn to rely on God instead of my own strength and wit. This is not a new lesson to me, as many of you know. I go through this time and time again when my ponderings begin to occupy too much space in my mind, and the Holy Spirit reminds me: "You need God. You cannot do this on your own. Let it go. You will know the answers soon enough - in HIS time, not your own."
A few days ago as I got ready for the day, I thought about what I was doing here, sight seeing in Europe, and it hit me - What is this all for? It is great, but it is such a luxury, and I don't know how I am serving God by going on this trip. I was wondering if maybe all this was a mistake, if perhaps, though I am enjoying myself, this is a waste of time because it is for myself and not helping others. I started to get discouraged and bogged down in these questions about purpose and in response, God flooded me with truth to reinforce the only thought I need to be occupied with: "God is powerful, wise, and GOOD." And that is enough. Though I will have questions because I am in the middle of this journey of life, come what may, with God as my guide, He will lead me, which means I don't have to worry about the "whys" or "whens." As far as I need to be concerned, God's purpose in having me here in Europe this month is the same as when I am in Korea, or Seattle: Be a light of hope, and love the people around me with all my heart TODAY. No matter where I am, that is a worthwhile pursuit.
This worrying and preoccupation with planning is a pitfall for me, so this is my goal that I want to share with you for support, encouragement, and accountability - not just for the remainder of my time in Europe, but for the coming months: to start each morning by praying, "God, please show me how to love today."
I have been doing a lot of reading on my kindle on the train and planes, and I wanted to share this sweet little quote with you from "Old Fashioned Girl":
"So much to do in the great, busy world, and she had done so little. Where should she begin? Then, like an answer came little Jenny's words, now taking a 'new significance' to Polly's mind, "To be strong, and beautiful, and go round making music all the time." Yes, she could do that; and with a very earnest prayer, Polly asked for the strength of an upright soul, the beauty of a tender heart, the power to make her life a sweet and stirring song, helpful while it lasted, remembered when it died."
Off to Paris!
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